Author: Caleb and Charlee Stoner
What I plan to talk about in this blog; Charlee and I are not even close to perfecting but as learned in the book “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy, small, smart choices, plus consistency, plus time, equal a radical difference in ones life.
Kiss them with kindness originates from “kill them with kindness” which is something my mother used to tell me when I would come home from school upset of other student’s comments. My mom would tell me to ignore them and just kill them with kindness. I remember liking the idea of this phrase because it had the word “kill” in it which meant that I could inflict anger and frustration on the other party by being kind to them. In most situations, I want to get “even” with my enemy which only seems “fair”.
The word kill in the phrase still insinuates malice or revenge. As appealing as the thought of inflicting revenge on someone who set out to hurt me sounded, there is a big difference between what is fair and what is spiritual. I knew that this idea needed to be revised. So what does Jesus tell me to do when people transgress against me? He says to love your enemies! No matter the anger or how bad someone treats you, you are supposed to forgive them every time. So we decided not to kill them with kindness but instead, kiss them with kindness. This meant an attempt to love everyone, especially the unloveable ones.
So, why did we want to implement this idea of loving everyone or kissing them with kindness?
1 – We noticed that being a DJ in our local wedding sector came with predetermined accusations such as “All DJ’s are pre-Madonnas or Divas”, “DJ’s think their s*** doesn’t stink and that they are better than everybody”, and that “DJ’s are rude and stuck in their ways”. The majority of people working in the wedding industry can pop off about 3-5 stories of horrible and mainly rude DJ’s. Charlee and I decided after the first couple of weddings that we did together to love everyone we came into contact with in attempt to change this stereotype.
2 – Charlee and I have noticed that it is the norm in society to publicly complain about or “talk smack” about other people or organizations. This also applies in the wedding industry when you get a group of vendors together conversing in small talk. We noticed that the majority of group conversations were spent speaking poorly of others. Of course this isn’t the case every time but it is the case the majority of the time. Charlee and I decided that we would attempt to avoid talking badly about others and steer the conversations in the opposite direction. We accomplished this by focusing on the positives while conversing with others.
What change have we noticed when implementing this habit of thought and action of loving everyone? We have noticed that certain behaviors are contagious. When we try to steer conversations into a more optimistic direction, others will do the same! It is imperative to be honest and truthful though. People can smell fake emotions from a mile away!
Why should everyone kiss them with kindness? If everyone pitched in with the action of loving all, this could change the world! I truly believe that this could at least change an industry. Societies like Rising Tide Society with the mentality of community over competition are already making huge waves (no pun intended) in the wedding industry. It is easy to think of the negative of every situation but more challenging to focus on the positive and respond with love.
Again, Charlee and I are not perfectionist when it comes to this but mere beginners! There are still so many times where I “lose my cool” and lash out! Living in a country with such a pessimistic media and negativity around every corner, why not try and kiss everyone with kindness! What could it hurt? I think I can let John Lennon and JC finish this blog out since they have said it best: “All you need is Love”, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is Love.”